A lot of people seem to think that I'm confident and happy with myself all the time and some days this couldn't be further from the truth. I have as many insecurities as the next person. I used to be so negative, unhappy and depressed and it actually felt natural to me. I was just so used to being this way that I didn't know any different. The thing with being so negative is that you unintentionally draw negatives from every situation and this becomes a bad habit. You focus on the worst and always focus on the things about yourself and your life that you dislike instead of appreciating the good things. I can tell you, it's horrible being stuck in that dark hole of negativity. I have been in this place many times before and to be honest, some days I feel like I could drift back there. The difference with me now is I know how to stop myself, I know how to pull myself back out of that hole... because I definitely don't want to be there again. When you learn to become a more positive person then you attract more positivity in and it snowballs to a happier life from there.
Learn to accept compliments
When someone used to compliment me I'd always look at it in a negative way and even thought they were being sarcastic. When we think negatively about ourselves it can be hard to accept compliments and we try to reject them by pushing them away. If someone compliments you, then say thank you and accept it. Allow that compliment to make you feel good because you deserve it.
There is a lot more to someone than what you see and EVERY single person has struggles and battles and we all have insecurities. When we sit and compare ourselves to others, it can leave us feeling inadequate and negative about ourselves. Instead recognise that everyone is unique and has something amazing to offer, just as that person who you compare yourself too has there own struggles too.
Learn from the negatives
Try to see all things in a positive way and draw the positives from every situation. Don’t stress too much when things don't go your way, when you make mistakes or when people do wrong by you. All these events that happen in your life are building your character. As long as you can look at things in a way that you can learn from them, then they're not a waste and they are for the greater good. Everything that has happened to me - good and bad has been for a reason, even though I didn't think that at the time.
Learn to let go
If something does go wrong then learn from it and then let it go. Holding onto the hurt, anger or frustration won't do you any good. Those kinds of emotions can eat away at you if you let them. If you're angry or upset about something – take a step back and see what you can do to let it go. We can’t always control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it.
Start finding gratitude
There are a lot of wonderful things you should be happy about and just being alive is a blessing - so appreciate it and make the most of it. When we learn to find gratitude in our lives, even if it’s the small things you automatically bring so much more positivity into your life. If you really struggle with this then try and write down one thing everyday that you can be grateful for, no matter how big or small. Soon you will find that even on a really bad day you can find something to be thankful for.
Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friends
Think of it like this: If your best friend was going for a job interview what would you say to him or her? You wouldn’t say: "Don't even bother going, you're not good enough, there will be others going who are way better than you, you'll never get this job, you're not smart enough and you don't have enough experience bla bla bla". Rather you would say something along the lines of "You are going to kill it today. You are an intelligent, confident and highly motivated person with the drive and determination to do anything. You've got this". So then why do we talk to ourselves with such negativity? We let horrible thoughts creep in and then believe them to be true. So treat yourself just as you would treat your best friend; tell yourself what you would tell them and don’t allow that negative self-talk to take hold.
Take control of your emotions
When you're dealing with things in the moment, you're consumed by it and you're emotions and that's all you are able to see. Take control of your thoughts and pull yourself out of the situation. There's no point thinking negatively about it. Deal with it the best way you know how and know you have complete control over how you feel.
It’s so important to look at life with gratitude for all of your experiences - they all add to who you are - your character and your wisdom. Treat every experience is a stepping stone. Changing your thoughts to be more positive will make a huge difference and will honestly change your life. I challenge you to start putting these into practice daily and eventually you will become a positive person and you’ll start seeing positive changes in all areas of your life.